27. Our IEP Process: Some Things We Have Learned


Hello and welcome to the If We Knew Then podcast, I’m Stephen Saux

and I’m Lori Saux

and today we’ll be talking about our current IEP and also just IEP in general.

The IEP has been continued to the first part of the school year because the IEP was cancelled and then rescheduled and we tend to have long IEPs.

We always do seem to have a long IEP. I talk to other people and we realize that we have he has a lot of services which is great which is wonderful %HESITATION and we ask for a lot of details we request all reports I had a time at all recommended goals if there’s any changes to go route we request everything up front and that you are entitled to so going into I. E. P. whether or not assessments are being done or it’s just reports and what their goals with their intended goals are the proposed goals because obviously in an IP the goals really aren’t set until you’re in the I. P. because it is a team decision but we request every report and proposed goals so that we we have a chance to prepare and get that ahead of time yes yes yes forty five days ahead of time we request in a written letter to receive all assessments and reports and proposals for at least four days in advance of the I. E. P. and that is actually you’re entitled to that to help you to prepare and be prepared to go into the I. P. to make it a more expedient process because first of a space which I can’t get into I can’t imagine how long are we if we didn’t care about the day they run about ten hours in total obviously that’s splitting a couple days and this one I kind of feel like well maybe we could get it done in a day but it didn’t it just didn’t happen no it what we what we did go in prepared as I always say go in prepared request everything we have learned to have a lawyer by your side which %HESITATION our last I. P. if you listen to that podcast our last IP we went in for the first time ever without a lawyer thinking that there was nothing that they could do to harm lamb because there’d always already banned %HESITATION so many violations against his previous IP’s and complaints filed and M. blown behold they they did pull they did try to warn struggle us and pulled a try to pull him off curriculum without the proper assessments being done and to us that we had to go to due process for that and we learned our lessons so I know lawyers are very expensive and it’s something that we just really budget and along the way we found a really great lawyer who works with us at their also advocates out there there’s %HESITATION so many places that you can look but we we highly recommend it because we feel like that that’s a to have somebody on your side I think alleviates a lot of your worry and your stress and you have someone with you that knows a lot because I think a lot of the problems happen because they count on the fact that you don’t know the law and you don’t know your rights and that makes it easy for them to violate them so whether or not you educate yourself in and brush up on everything or have someone sitting with you whether it be an advocate or lawyer %HESITATION we just really see the benefits and that and we and we really encourage people to have somebody on their side that can advocate for them it’s a natural strategy when you’re negotiating something because these are tend to be negotiations one side feels one way one side feels another way in many aspects and when that happens it’s the one with the knowledge that can stand their ground and and no you know if you if you know your rights then you know what you are allowed in if you realise oh well that’s actually not in the that’s a maybe I can ask for something that’s not correct or you’re doing something like our last EP they actually violated Liam civil rights the way that they it was approached and %HESITATION the way that they were attempting to dictate what they were going to do to our son’s educational journey so it is nice to have someone to say you can ask for that note you can’t ask for that and it’s true that an I. P. is supposed to be set up as a team this helps people work it does I mean it would be like going into I I always think of going in to get a car you’ve basically know the basics but you’re relying on some of the people that are actually going to benefit to give you information and that’s that’s not a good place to be you would have the information yourself because you know that the other side when it comes to with these little debates are sometimes bigger debates and negotiations the other side is %HESITATION well oiled working machine that knows the process and we’re just learning this we don’t want to hire someone that it was like three hundred right here just as an attorney that’s doing dozens a year right also an attorney knows the law and it’s logical and it’s just the law our lawyers serve to she knows the law she advocates for that she can call it when they’re going against the law it she can call them on the nonsense she can keep them in line as the letter of the law and it’s a very non emotional logical non personal place that you want to be so that way no matter how many times I say let’s not to put your motion to the side to not be emotional it’s hard I mean there is one or two times that my my voice cracked %HESITATION got shaky when you’re defending and advocating for your child and there’s it’s really hard to come from a non emotional place because I’ve I do firmly always believe everybody is doing their best just there’s a variation on what best means to a lot of people and the best as far as how our child is being supported definitely has a profound impact on his life on where he is right now on what his education will be in the future on the way he’s viewed in society at this moment if he doesn’t have the support he needs for speech to develop his speech no matter how high he is cognitively if he can express himself people look at him and there’s an immediate judgment made on our side whether it be somebody in the school another teacher up person out in the world there is a judgment made and so the supports that he receives are very very important and when you come across a situation where they haven’t been taken as seriously as as your child takes them or is they should be taken as a job then it is really hard to not have that pit in your stomach or to be upset or to be angry anger I find doesn’t really serve a purpose but it can fuel you to find that place and focus to navigate to the situation where you where you want it to be yes and and also the attorney’s gonna knows the lingo and that’s something that you’ll you’ll learn as you go but there’s definitely go as in every situation may get yourself into a new job or %HESITATION even just a hobby would haven’t link goes that you just don’t know so this is a way to get your questions answered unbiased Lee what and you know by the time he graduates high school well no one will have it done down but when you’re still learning and every year is a new thing and every year is a new challenge and so it’s nice to have somebody who who knows right off the bat well well we’re learning because it does directly affect me but and again there’s you know everybody every parent I feel does what’s best for their child it makes those decisions were always going to be perfectly clear that we support every parent doing what they believe is right for their child what is frustrating to us is when a system will take advantage of said parent and their situation or their lack of knowledge and not be the team or the guiding force that they’re supposed to be because ultimately it’s the child who pays so that’s what we’re the advocates for the parents were the advocates for those children and that’s what that’s what we’re here for him if you can wrap your head around it then there’s less to fear right and we have fear to be fearless mmhm okay so we request everything as I said reports this year I requested service logs because I wasn’t seeing the support and also towards the end of the year we found out that his O. T. had left on medical leave and not been replaced so there was six months yeah right among thanks yeah six weeks of the end of that but the two months because the IP and then he’s going to get it for the end of the year so and that came to us from an assessor that told us oh no I haven’t been doing his services I’m just here for the assessment so we found that out and that made that put a big red flag on and I’m a big proponent of if you’ve get a red flag ask that you’re right you’re right is to ask I put it in writing because that way it’s been written down that you fast and there’s no question that you ask so you ask so I asked for service log it was acquired %HESITATION receive the service logs and in short the service logs painted a picture of gross negligence in the support %HESITATION that they were deficient a hundred and ninety six hours right not only in his occupational therapy but in his speech and in his resource resource was the worst and I and honestly I believe it was %HESITATION compiled with not doing services but also the negligence of to fill out the reports and then the complete disregard to even check and check with anything in the clarify resource teacher would sometimes pulling him out of class or push into class and she would be a one on one teacher with him and these are ours that are dedicated to him if you want to look at the positive side I could look at the speech he was receiving the way it was implemented at the beginning of the year which was definitely not the hours he was supposed to be receiving the progress he was making in school and at home with his speech then put it against when he is receiving his speech because the therapist changed and she tried to make up for the hours that he was up and live out of here and %HESITATION when he was doing or %HESITATION report and there was a definite increase in his speech his participation in class and even the teacher and the students all commented on it so that’s a way that it can help you in a positive way in a negative way you see when someone that your child isn’t being supported in the way they’re supposed to be for whatever reason and that can really hurt it can bring in a lot of emotions but on the positive side too you could say okay well not supporting him we see where that gets us but look at what supporting him gets us okay you can you can compare it I also bring in work samples I save every spelling test and I don’t necessarily go through everyone but maybe one from the beginning of the year one from the middle of the year one from the end of the year and you can show a comparison %HESITATION so videotape every all the homework so after I read the reports if I find something where they say you Liam can’t member doesn’t have the cognitive ability to memorize a song that I’ve he sings every day to his music that comes through the house and %HESITATION I’d record him singing a song that he’s obviously memorized and then I can say I’m not sure why this is what you see but let me show you what the reality of our child as and then in all fairness they have a perfect pitcher because there are some reasons where they would only see certain behaviors and so it’s our job to show the full picture and honestly the year was I mean the year included a teacher strike the year included we were in due process and then there was %HESITATION implement %HESITATION I. E. P. that the resource teacher and our APIS tried to %HESITATION bombard my husband because it was supposed to be a implement IEPs you’re supposed to go in and sign a sheet of paper that says we’re going to implement everything that happened in due process well when he went into just sign a sheet of paper and it was only supposed to take fifteen minutes they kind of thought it was a bull is very bullying and and mine a bit of a railroad yeah a bit of a bit of a I believe you they tried to then push their J. realize they had they had some gaps in what they wanted so they said well here’s here’s the goals that we are proposing and that’s on us today that my husband was going in there alone without me or a lawyer and they thought that they could which they do very well there’s a yes he’d be honest V. attorney in our house is Laurie she is the most knowledgeable of the two of us and so I was the weaker link going into that meeting we also have a lawyer to be exhibit yeah yeah we have a lawyer and he has already right the most knowledgeable of the two of us would be Laurie who absorbs and researches for information %HESITATION and so being at that being at a meeting by myself and they may have seen opportunity and they’ve done that to you before yeah that’s the only place in in life where they they see you and they try to take advantage of it what they’ve done they’ve done that before so %HESITATION %HESITATION and and also again I what was a saving grace is again we also record every meeting and we put it in writing that we’re gonna record and clear put putting a readiness assessment letter it’ll I type a letter and then I bring it in I get a time stamp so it goes to whoever it’s addressed to and it goes in my son’s files so that way at the end of the day after that actually stamped with the date and that yeah and and a photo copy a copy and give it to you so you have the letter that you wrote with the date that has been received right to the school so then you know that has been doing that seems to be the best because there’s never it when they say will you didn’t at tell us you were going to record I just go into my file I have a date of it and it’s time stamp so and also it’s in Liam’s file because he always setting an email yeah or %HESITATION you know email wasn’t received or writer wasn’t received the one it’s been stamped by administration and I understand that it can be frustrating overwhelming to the front desk people who are I am I bring treats in for throughout the year but it’s important that that the difference between us I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings or I want people to like me and I’m just going to follow the letter of the law and I’m gonna make sure I keep everybody on track and everybody has the right the same communication of here it is my information here’s my request it’s in writing you received it if you didn’t receive it that’s really not my problem in the nicest way possible it’s not my problem and we’re gonna record and I record every every meeting and I write it in every I. P. that we’re going to record this meeting and every meeting and that’s kind of my backup of what we’ve said we’re going to record every meeting for years but just in case for some reason that like I didn’t get that letter to them it’s already been stated I’m recording this IP and every IEP it’s been stated for years so I believe is what I call for them when they get a receipt of a letter like that they then are obligated to record as well are they have the opportunity not right and thank goodness yeah we just record on a on a I phone my phone does with just you know his record anyway anyway UTC and %HESITATION thank goodness he did because it took me a long time to actually listen to that employment I. A. P. N. I didn’t sign any papers until I listen to it and it was horrible and disturbing and I think we discussed that in a different podcasts that there was a lot of personal opinions %HESITATION that were spoken about my son by the resource teacher and APIS and you know where they called him lazy and said he could get goofy and things like that so I in my letter for it to follow up among also requesting that they take these goals that they had proposed without the discussion of the team I asked them to refrain please from personal comments on my son because it’s not helpful and I can’t go into an IPA and say well you know you didn’t do a hundred ninety six of yours resource hours because you’re lazy because people are gonna say Hillary that’s inappropriate to say about my son it’s just as inappropriate and I’m not sure why they feel it’s okay to call my son lazy and goofy and things like that so that and that’s where those specific we’re by recording you get the specific words you say this is an appropriate name when you have to go to due process you have this there is there there is your resource teacher %HESITATION to know not only recording that meeting as I walked out of there without signing anything in you never have to sign you can have a piece of paper go great I’ll take this I’ll bring back tomorrow I’ll be back later date whatever you wanna say you just get out of that room with it then you have a time to show Taylor yourself go over with your partner go over with your attorney and right okay are we all on board here but you’ll you’ll be made to feel like Hey let’s get this done now because I got to get the ball rolling if you really want things to you know we have all these great things are gonna start happening for your son if you just sign now it was horrible it was horrible it was in that and I didn’t sign it I had I was a letter saying these are the changes that need to be made of course they never made them and it all came up in the I. P. and Wall come up and due process as well if you have to go to due process so you just keep it nice recording the need of the final two processes do we need to process is the next level before hearing there are certain things that can happen if you don’t agree to what’s in the eight PM one of the things you can do is a due process which is you know you sit there and you have a representative from the school and a judge for the district of red on the day after the district judge usually a judge that is now just a mediator yeah I mediator so it’s like media it’s called me I guess it is about Asian and then you discuss what you want and most the time you can get out of there with reaching an agreement that we haven’t gone we haven’t gone past that level going to court yet but if you if you did not reach agreement then you can go toe to interrogate judge yes %HESITATION there be an actual hearing type of thing right absolutely so we went to the I. P. with all the letters that we had written throughout the year with all reports read mmhm with the service log I spent hours hours hours going through and cross referencing it and it was a lot of work element and it’s a certain point I got to the point where I was like well this is a complete pattern I’m seeing it was very frustrating because I’d say all in all and I posted about twenty four hours sitting and going through every single out some of the cross referencing yes maybe you’d have speech at the same time that you have chosen is like that I was there was no trial has time like he went from speech from eight fifteen to eight thirty and then at eight thirty to eight forty five he was in resource we had %HESITATION across campus so that is things like that so I so I actually did it online in three D. finally they got speech done that week but they had speech maybe gets to let’s say just say yes to four hours of speech each week maybe they did two hours in one day that’s that’s all we can all kind of thing Hey that’s that’s not helping very much so when I cross referenced it I did it and on a calendar if I did it in three different ways as to accommodate everybody and how they process information and also there’s no question as to the picture that’s been painted and I think that was the one emotional part because sitting across from the resource teacher who then of course had excuses and and tried to defend what she had done that’s probably the one time I did get emotional because my point to her was the same an adequacy that she displayed and non communication of giving us her records is is the same kind of work that she does with our son and that’s very frustrating because all in all at the end of the day what matters is our son what matters is the support he receives what matters is that he is able to reach his potential that he’s able to have goals that challenge him that he’s able he has something like every other child something to reach for we’ll discuss what we do on our own and over the summer and another podcast but when you see the difference and how he’s supported in school and when there’s a negligence there and then when we work with him how he absorbs it and one of the arguments they always make it I don’t know if you’ve experienced this but they’ll say we don’t want him to be frustrated when he’s not getting that he gets frustrated which I don’t think we’ve ever really seen I I think sometimes if it’s too challenging just like with anyone there’s like a check there’s a look that he gives like us telling going over my head but he’ll still sit and try what what I found this summer was not the look of frustration when he doesn’t get it because I think that’s that is displayed in the a look where you can go okay let’s go deeper let’s approach this a different way what I’ve experienced this summer is the joy that he has at understanding math understanding money of being able to read his words spelling like he will come in with his I. pad and his assistive technology that we have over the summer %HESITATION which we requested so he could work on it he has that with his words in it and he comes in with his words and hell say alligator A. L. L. I. G. and who read it off and he’s very excited about I think he knows he’s learning things and that excites him yeah we and we’ve picked the iPad because it’s a it’s a it’s it’s something he enjoys so why not make it the the easiest Avenue to actual he can carry around like a round relying on us yeah he he goes and digs into words that aren’t even part of the scheduled words that we prepared for him that kinda front load or or or even past history words that we’re reinforcing you’ll choose right now is on the kick of these animal words you’re like seven or eight different groups of fifteen different animals that he he actually taught him how to order showed him once how to attach a photo to the word so he really liked that he like one alligator came up that he saw an alligator and you basically pull the picture off the web and there’s a way to do it easily through the app I showed him once and he did it and that was even a learning experience %HESITATION for but I don’t see from yeah he taught me I don’t even I don’t see the frustration I see a I would see a frustration if I as the tutor at the time what was fresh it with him if I said Liam alligator is spelt and I and I and I had a stern voice I could see that he would keep our bit if I did that %HESITATION he but that doesn’t work for him obviously you don’t want someone to be frustrated so what you do is you just keep going over over and when he gets it it’s the joy and so when someone tells me one of his supports in school tells me that they’re afraid of this or concerned for this frustration it shows me that they’ve seen him frustrated maybe and so it that in late July a bit about how they’re teaching him that they get frustrated so that’s what he’s responding from or they’re just putting him in into the pool of kids a date that they see they’re frustrated I mean that it’s not something that I think they it’s possible it’s not something I actually saw it some of the go will I don’t want him to be frustrated because they deal with other kids we know there’s a certain amount of kids in the school that they see we know the percentage that are they had down syndrome and and there’s differences but for our child but how does have down syndrome he’s out of Russia type not gonna say every key without with down syndrome yes I get frustrated gets frustrated on certain things he gets frustrated but not in school but it’s good I hope he gets frustrated certain yes and sister or yes but he when it comes to school work he’s looking to to succeed and so when he does succeed and that’s praised his thumbs up and excited when he doesn’t eat but the thing is they’ll be a lot of of of of unsuccessful moments toward their and that’s okay and and he’s okay with that too he’s an unsuccessful a hundred times around Goku or put his finger to go to his toes Chenango mum but is it a respond how we feel about that right and if I go come on we can do this let’s keep let’s try again and try again and again until he gets it when he gets it yeah and he’s excited and that’s so if someone says that’s our son and that’s how we know what he said when I say that that that there twenty things are either not doing it the way they should be doing it teaching the way they should be for they actually had seen that and they’re just saying it because %HESITATION or it could be a sound bite I believe their sound bites that the ministration could give you know because these educators are being informed about certain situations I believe the sound bites that thrown out of her enough that’s another reason is that attorney has heard this and other schools or other people and they go out at the light goes on there I’ve heard that before that’s not original statement that’s happening from the situation right it’s something else and let me say that I have for this IP and this is one thing I learned maybe I should save it for the end but this is one thing I learned we were very fortunate because the APIS had because some had been so challenging over the year we had actually the principal at our I. E. P. %HESITATION I don’t know who your principal as but we we really do have an outstanding principal at our school and he was there and he had done he had worked in nineties before so he knows does that how it’s supposed to go and run just had such a great attitude and a real team attitude and that really brought I don’t know if it’s because he’s the principal or whatever it was but that brought the rest of the team as approaching this as yeah this is a team it was refreshing it was refreshing it was a better attitude also he was taken by surprise by a lot of the information I think what I learned in is that the next time I’m experiencing so many challenges because I I see him often because we volunteer at the school instead of just a vague statement of being challenged if it’s something like the violation of the IP or the implementation I E. P. A. going so a wire or Hey they canceled the I. P. is a night before the IP instead of just thinking that he he he runs a whole school so instead of thinking that he might know that it’s my job to say Hey look you you know overall your umbrellas everything you need to know that this is what’s happening and because he was legitimately really surprised at some of the things that were going on he’s not in the trenches all the time and I believe he’s in all the dentures I think right difference between being an all the trenches yeah or just having this and what like where is that where one of hundreds of eye peas in that school so I will say that that there was a great blessing I would try to find that silver lining I hope that doesn’t frustrate anyone but the silver lining of going dredging through that APIS for years and always kind of stopping and writing I I don’t take anything personally to that person who’s doing anything no matter what emotion comes up I write it down and I put it in that that’s the best way because there’s a record of it instead of seeing them in the hall and Kevin a mystic guy you say you write down in a letter in regards to the conversation on blah blah blah please refrain from the personal comments on my son blah blah blah whatever it is you write it down you put it it’s in the file but because there is I think there were so many letters over the last year and a half that it we actually were very fortunate to have the principal said in and what I learned was he was not privy to all of the challenges that we had X. and so I would say that the next time hopefully they will be but if there’s ever that many challenge legitimate challenges that I would definitely write a letter and make sure that he received it as well so he can because he’s you know he needs to know what’s going on in the school right and and we know we can’t be the only ones that had problems so I mean he he must have her with that now he he he must know the status of it was very refreshing to have him there and to come from a different angle and I feel like I said about the trenches he’s in all of them yes but to be in this IP trench day after day after day it’s just got a I mean I have to tie it in it could harden some people it could make them %HESITATION have %HESITATION change attitudes in negative way and and I think that that can happen we may have run into that and this is nice to have a different perspective and he there were several things he came to me and pulled over to the side I remember when we pulled me to the side about service logs and said that it was embarrassing and it’s something that needs to change so we forgot about that that’s good for us in the future and for everyone else in the future but you also we made a point about pardoning people you know just like we’re there it’s just it shouldn’t be this way but where they’re defending and they’re they’re defending so it’s two people defending two sides defending I think there has to be a breath and stop and listen and work together as a team and I think that’s what we aim there is concern about the parents side and family side or the Afghan side being hardened and that’s something that is only going to do an injustice to yourself right so you have to stand firm and you have to be an advocate but you don’t have to hide yourself Laurie apologize for it but it really is coming about it coming to a point of finding the silver lining try not to be too emotional try not to take it personally because the last two things I said of those three the other side’s doing they’re not taking it personally well I don’t know I don’t know I think I found when I went over when I was talking about the service record I think the passionate ones take it personally just like we’re passionate many I think a passionate ones where there’s people that means in a personal yes yeah it depends resource really wasn’t right it’s not funny at all no it’s not but you see you have to at some point you know and what we have to you also need to be a human that feels but but an excuse like harsh uses or personal excuses from one side there’s a limit to how much that needs to be accepted if someone is giving a service to your child and they have a medical reason for not being there that one L. okay they’re doing it for certain first a second the child should not suffer suffer from that just like the child can be held to accordance because he actually has a medical reason why he needs to have the support so that’ll be held to him so there’s just no excuses the I. P. is challenging to navigate because my experiences as I’d work a lot on getting to that place of just going in there without emotion totally prepared as much as you can and you still there still the decompression they’re still the emotion that you carry with you they’re still the lump in the throat there’s still everything so I think it’s it’s definitely a process and for every parent you’re doing what’s best for your child we’re doing what’s best for what we believe is best for our child and so that’s respected and are we just want that to also be supported because it’s it’s it’s hard I think there’s so many things as a parent in this mix I have compassion for everybody that sits around that table and I have an understanding there were all human beings and they’re such a bigger picture here as far as humanity and peace and all those things that definitely come into play that definitely are not to be diminished because it’s right there at that table as far as the only journey that I really know personally though is that of the parent and I feel like as a parent of a child with down syndrome that would definitely experience most of the challenges and more of a societal way more of expectations perceptions stereo types and the same thing with school the expectations the perceptions the stereo types the putting them in a little corner that that just all of that as a parent it’s so much bigger because it’s personal and it’s it’s also the journey of a parent it’s that parent who no matter who your child is no matter what their challenges are you have the same baseline concerns baselines stresses and you take that and then you compress it into a battle that you it’s unfair that you have to have this battle and it shouldn’t be a battle and that’s something that came always comes up in our E. P. because it shouldn’t be a defense it should be like all right what we do great last time what we gonna do better this time what have you seen this is what I’ve seen let’s do this this is how we’re gonna lift this human being up until he can stand completely on his own and he has that support and that confidence and that knowledge which every child should receive it I don’t think that just have an I. P. means they don’t receive it I think there are children without IP’s that could do with the same kind of advocacy I think every child to think F. actually ever most people in the world could use that same support and advocacy and that permission to be themselves completely because I know Liam gets judged so so harsh he he’s like excuse my language of a damned if you do and damned if you don’t own the bar is this low on certain things and very low but then as soon as he hugs somebody or throws a pencil or doesn’t make eye contact it’s written down and it seals in his file but for the the parent for you who’s listening just knows that we understand everybody’s journey is different but we understand how challenging this can be and we understand everything that’s at stake and everything that’s overwhelming and our goal here is to help you find just a tiny tiny bit of peace and light when you’re in that room or during the school year when your I. E. P. isn’t being implemented or when you have to write that letter nobody likes writing those letters I’ve had many conversations about those letters were people are like it takes me two hours to sit down but it’s two hours and if you can just detach from how wrong it is that you have to write it and just no I just have to write this letter and I’m gonna write it and then you put it in and you let go and you move to the next step so you don’t let those little bits consume you and eat you that’s my hope that’s my hope is that you can have that peace and and some ease and the journey because just being a parent as hard just being a parent has challenges and when you’re fighting this fight of IDPs and you’re going into it I just think the best of the best can still just be punched in the gut I know that we’re in your corner and %HESITATION we’ll we’ll give you this the water if we couldn’t yeah cut me Mick but I think Ronald old steel the question yeah on the yeah I just and and know that you’re not alone I am gonna say that again is that you are not alone and every thing that you do matters and is such a beautiful gift to your child you’re always doing what you can do and we choose our battles I know it’s not fair that we have to choose but we choose and then the next time we go in and maybe we make a different choice or were like that really worked and we and we were gonna stick there so I think what most for this I. E. P. is that you know what will continue to fight no and most likely decide he’s going to end in a due process for the most you know yes likely and you fight that fight and you fight your fight whatever you’re able whatever you’re able to do that’s you your journey and there’s no wrong you’re just doing your best there are some tools so that you can take and H. I. P. to encourage others to do their best and man if we could just have a lawyer said by every parent that goes into an IP we would that would be that would be wonderful for us there are websites even just the alley UST or whatever school district you’re in you can go to their website and there’s actually a section that goes over the loss and the procedures and the processes and there’s lots of things that you can find on the internet that you can go in at least with a little bit more knowledge and don’t be afraid to ask questions if someone says something that makes no sense at all ask the question and get their answer and you’re recording their answer remember so don’t be afraid to ask questions don’t be afraid to stand in your truth and do what feels right in your gut as far as for advocating for your child if you have a question if there’s something that you feel that they need if there’s something you want to request don’t be afraid don’t don’t be afraid I encourage you not to be intimidated I encourage you to trust yourself I encourage you to educate yourself you don’t sign anything until you know and there you can even usually find an advocate or a lawyer that you can just say here’s my IP can you read over it and then they’re not there with you but they’ll re over it for a fee and tell you yeah or nay or what works or do you know it says this and and you know seek that out but I but I think I encourage you to know that you’re not alone I encourage you to get all the information put everything in writing trusting yourself and take a breath don’t be afraid when you said that don’t be afraid it really was a great way to sum it up because that’s what if I knew then means that if I knew then I wouldn’t have been afraid I think yes there might be the yeah I I guess sometimes I even feel like %HESITATION right in so many letters are I’m doing this so gosh have walk in the office and nobody likes me but that’s not my business who likes me or not so yes the fear and I think that’s got me in the past but I I did learn from the site P. that definitely communication is the best definitely something that I will even work on more is to communicate to to ask for the service logs to communicate if things are getting completely to the point where you’re like this is absolutely wrong and you have to call somebody else and then you communicate your send you send that letter to your principal you send that letter wherever it needs to go so we’re going to continue the fight if we knew then we know that that we have nothing nothing to fear and that fear will only intimidate us in ways that limits us absolutely thank you.

Please follow us on Twitter @ifweknewthenPOD you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. You can join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.

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