33. Our Congratulations Message to New Parents

Transcript

Hello and welcome to theIf We Knew Then podcast I’m Stephen Saux

And I’m Lori Saux and today’s a great day. And I think that yesterday was probably one of my favorite days in my life because there were so many firsts and so much hope just flourished into the world with all the new changes and you know Kamala Harris being elected as Vice-President. What a what a monumental moment that is right now matter what your political beliefs are or who you voted for it it really is such a historic first an achievement and another historic first came from our down syndrome community Chris Nikic the first person with Down syndrome to complete a full Ironman and he did it yesterday and it was amazing it was great it was why I lied on he he can watch it live on on the Ironman triathlon Facebook page and yeah it was awesome yeah I did I think what got me the most is just seen him and has strengthened one knowing the significance is what he did yesterday just blew the roof off of things that we were told when lamb was born that are signed could never do not would never do but could like don’t even put it on your radar at Liam’s got low town there were so many things that with crest finishing first he did the half Ironman but then yesterday not only competing but completing the Ironman I mean changed so much for the expectations that we will allow ourselves to have our children he did it and he trained for a year I’m watching him going I’m not running an Iron Man I don’t I and there’s no time in my life I mean I ran a marathon and that was it like I was spent there’s no time that I could’ve or would’ve run an Iron Man though that possibility was never taken away from me what I loved watching and was just other people who finished behind him you know that the people that won’t finish I mean it you’re pushing your body to the Max from those people that tons of people are not going to finish that race that started and training that long with what is thought to be physical deficits you’ve always been told that in fact he was born with a hole in his heart and had to have surgery and that I had I had mentioned in the podcast app so that we had with them that’s a defective heart that’s been corrected a leaky heart that now is working world class and filling all of our hearts and %HESITATION right stick I mean it was beautiful it was it was a great day of celebration it went kind of late into the night for for him he did that he trained for a year his father created a system of one percent just reminding little steps at a time and I’m always telling Sophia you know take baby steps just enjoy each step celebrate each step and R. B. N. each moments but that’s that’s kind of at the heart of what I gathered of his program is one percent improve one percent every day and that’s something I can apply to my life and even with that accomplishment he is just one person with down syndrome let’s make an impact there’s so many beautiful examples of what is thought to be overachievement for people with down syndrome but it’s just achievement achievement with the idea that you can do it if you are told you can do it and believe in yourself then yeah it opens doors you keep telling people that they can’t and what they can’t do it becomes another obstacle right and so today we are filled with hope and possibility and this episode is dedicated to new parents and hopes to give them some hope and possibility because there are you know I know I I repeat myself from like a broken record but that was the one thing when Liam was born was there were no hopeful messages no stories of possibility hands November is the month of giving thanks and gratitude we are most thankful for this family and our journey together so the first thing we want to say congratulations congratulations congratulations I must say it again congratulations right now if you’ve received a diagnosis it may be your child is already been born or you just received a diagnosis in pregnancy the first thing is congratulations I want you to hear it I want it to soak in congratulations let’s celebrate celebrate yes I know that you are feeling I was gonna say you may be feeling a lot of emotions but when you’re pregnant I know I felt a lot of emotions my entire pregnancies so there’s so much unknown that was just handed to you maybe maybe you already have experience maybe you did it’s not someone known that but I know that our experience was we didn’t know anything about down syndrome so there were a there are a lot of emotions and we see it we see a lot of questions out there we see a lot of hopelessness because that’s that’s what we’re given right now I can say from my side of it I mean it’s very emotional and very taxing and stressful and that initial diagnosis process that you don’t have to be the one that’s pregnant to be emotional it rocks your world I think it’s so emotional because one most of this journey is unknown some of us are very fortunate to have somebody in our life to guide us or that has experience or knowledge but if you don’t a lot of the information you receive is negative and a lot of it is incorrect I’d say anything that has an emotion to it that comes from someone on the outside it’s just somebody’s opinion there’s definitely medical thing yes in court %HESITATION to straight forward and you deal with that and you can have that look any grounds look at christening totally get a hole in his heart that is not done you know we did not go through that now so I’m not gonna say Hey you just have a surgery but there’s things to concern yourself about and there’s things to deal with you know medically physical things but we’re coming from is the social and stereotypical things that you hear and how negative that can be and falls and how they can impact our journey and our celebration and starting off with pregnancy or you know the first days after diagnosis when you don’t really know and you can you pull out your laptop and you start to go a goal down syndrome and you can get some great helpful information now because there’s so many groups out there but then you can come across some horrible horrible things so when you come across something that’s horrible don’t even read it just turn it off and know that this is your journey and congratulations and celebrating man because your kid just like if it’s your first kid or your twelve kid this kid is going to be amazing there’s a difference between every child that’s born so we just want the message job of every life has its challenges every child is different and there’s and so celebrate this one just like you did any other pregnancy if it’s not your first child and just like you had planned to all along if it is your first child celebrated because it’s but you know when we talk about medical issues the medical community has come up with is so much with advanced so far that if you have a hole in your heart one day in your life you can run an Iron Man or Liam was born at thirty weeks ten weeks premature N. we were pretty scared of that and the doctors really we kinda I don’t know we’re we’re okay yes there were reasons installers yeah we’ve seen smaller kids and kids one earlier and so the advances medically and really come around so we’re talking about society and we found out Liam’s diagnosis ten days after he was born some people will find out amid probably majority people find out prior to birth and that remind that makes me think of Melissa came back and her shoes shower room it was such a beautiful to have her on that so didn’t put ourselves then twelve that was observed twelve our second interview with her and it actually focused on her baby shower baby shower it was really %HESITATION I think in a way I opening even for us to people that are advocates and positive thinkers and in the subject and hear someone that really comes from such a beautiful place she had information at her shower she made it where Hey I understand there’s a we don’t know that you don’t know things like she did now and she does want everyone to be on the same page so isn’t it better to instead of taking the information and opinions from people who don’t know and instead giving them your information right and setting the tone I thought I thought that was brilliant a team well in her family and friends of this is that here’s the good information I’m getting from the down syndrome community around her the first thing she did in England and she went out and contacted her local support groups and staff and got information from them and then just spread that information for people so the people were wondering how to act how to act what to say also what they knew and you write the most part what people know is so small and it’s it usually is very and people want to some people for the most part account want to come from a good place yeah are coming from a place they want to say the right things so tell them what to say say this is the way we talk this is the way I I think no limitations right and that the word that is a tone is the words we don’t use this is all the possibility that my child has I think that was set a tone for you and for your family and friends but it then translates to the child as the child absolutely raised yeah and so if you get the information the diagnosis beforehand celebrate you can plan your shower and you can use that information to disseminate it against your community and your friends so then your create your creating that you’re making that change in your world and in your bubble and another thing that you can do because knowledge is power when you find out the earlier you find out you can begin to create a support system of services that are going to help you with your child they’re going to help you build a strong foundation for your child so the different services that can start pretty much right after they’re born are you know occupational therapy PT first race across their physical there later down the line speech but along with speech you have you know some developmental things that help with strengthening the mouse like %HESITATION with nursing or feeding or however you choose to feature your child there’s different things that you can use to strengthen those muscles in their mouth that are going to help down the line with us with speech right so you find out you feel your emotions you seek out information from healthy supportive places that actually have the information go into different groups from our community that the I mean the amount of supports that are out there now all are more than we’ve ever had I mean think about the people that were talking about with down syndrome that are showing us what barriers can be broken and what can happen when you support someone and tell them they can do things even caress is twenty one years old when I was twenty years ago the most interesting part of that story and the episodes we have two episodes with him and his parents and the most interesting thing to me about that story was you know when Chris was born his father was just handed the words special rate set and with that word came different connotations than the actual word and it was weighted with so much and next talks about yeah that is that house but it that the daughter who was gifted right and how is that conversation of the power of that trajectory for her life right but how he bought into this definition of special and how’d that dictated his behavior opinion or you know just how he guided and D. expectations they had been it really wasn’t until three years ago they change that idea of to include Chris as gifted as well and and it just turned everything around and it really did envelopes the actual meaning of special because like I said before running an Iron Man is pretty freakin special so they did but when it comes down to the actual word Chris is definitely a very gifted and and special individual which you know the truth is we all have that potential and us and it’s about a watering the seeds to if that’s gonna to see what comes out right what kind of recreation do so if if you think of your child now your infant child now has all the supports that are possible any examples and examples and you are there to guide that child in a way that no other generation of people with down syndrome have gone and you also have the supports and you also have the examples we go from what we know and what we’re seeing and what we’re shown and then we make the decision to make those changes or see more or be more and I loved what Kamal Harris said in her speech the other night about seeing yourself differently than other people see you and to be willing to be what you are and change the picture that’s suitable for for us as parents and with children’s awesome as well it’s completely apple for making change your you’re making a change and that that’s what we’re doing now and society were were changing and it’s beautiful so back to you new parents congradulations and seek that information that is healthy and supports you and shows you the positive examples without boundaries and then you break some more boundaries just know this it’s the journey is completely yours and you will have challenges just like you do with any child every child has challenges and we said this before that we were handed a list with lamb we weren’t handed a list with Sophia so all of those were surprises but we can look at that list now and I used to get so mad at that list because I saw it really as a limitation but it was only because all I was being fed with limitations all I was being told was can’t all I was being given was petty but now what I want to say to you is take that list and let it empower you educate yourself if there are medical issues put your support system in place take care of yourself self care be hopeful because science and medicine is they’re there for you now in a way they’ve never band and we are overcoming these medical issues and without power take this list that’s given to you of knowns and use it to empower yourself a seek out the supports that you need put a system N. for when your child is born and put a system and to support your child as they begin to develop and I know we’re being a little repetitive but I want you to hear this message I want you to hear the message of hope and I want you to I want you to hear the message of possibility and celebration so we received the diagnosis we have emotions we seek out healthy positive information we put supports in place and then I you tell your family and create a lead that they can follow and you might experience some negative reaction and all I have to say about that is something that we had talked about with our good friend Nick no Vicky who is a little person and he has been on the receiving end of living with a disability and one thing that we learned from our conversation with him is try as much as you can to let it be water off a duck’s back yeah he he really sets an example of how to he’s a comedian so he cannot laugh things off and he learned quickly how to be a quick talker and and he could gain some advantage in his own life that way when he felt some adversity we really showed how your attitude toward it all goes so far right and and how we receive because our medic and I I would be very I took things so personally and I let these words and conversations just beat me down for a little bit and I remember when I made the decision I’m just going to be angry anymore I made yet member we made that remember walking into the school going you know went I’m tired of being angry Monex said that too he said you can’t go around and just like whenever someone says I’m just gonna be mad that I met this young because it’s only hurting you right you can educate people in a positive way so if you create that education system for others in a positive way you’re only putting out positivity which is only gonna reflect back to yourself and give you a positive feeling instead of anger or look L. being the watchdog of waiting for something to be said you know waiting yeah you know and and it’s true because at the one sided shaft my feelings about what people said and just I know people are doing their best and they’re coming from a place of limited knowledge and so the best I can do is change the perception so if you receive negative comments our apologies or what not I encourage you to take a deep breath and know that this is your journey and you decide how you respond to it and you decide what you create annual advocate for your child and your child is a beautiful celebration whose life is filled with the same possibilities of every child you know that’s what we say that’s what we bring into you know ever our lives and our days and not everybody’s gonna agree with you and that’s okay so even people in your community arc you’re in the dance and community are going to you’re gonna you gonna talk and that’s okay that’s okay everyone’s doing it differently everybody but I definitely see that a positive attitude and hope and our encouragement and no limitations not only is it good for your own psyche and your own emotions and well being but also for the well being of your child is going to open doors we are going to see like I said the greatest move toward achievements that we’ve ever seen to the down syndrome community in this generation and the future generations because of what’s happening now and it’s happening exponentially we talked about it with Chris’s dad neck once Sir Edmund Hillary got to the top Everest it just became a thing that humans did and for the longest it was thought to be impossible breaking the sound barrier with Chuck Yeager I mean you can go on and on once you do it and you’re the first it opens the floodgates and we need to ride that wave yes we need to ride that wave to change us so going on to your the early years because those are the years that you know like with all children the early years are the most some of the most important ones those are when your child is like a sponge and what I feel like and I’ve always I don’t this might be completely wrong but this is by my thought process since Liam was born so when Sophia was born I was told to certain years like birth to five were the most absorbing years like give the most input and I felt like well if Liam has a cognitive delay a developmental delay then that means that the window of the input is got to be larger like it’s got a it’s got to be a longer window right it always made sense to me it does because you know I’m not going to take just it and I’m not gonna embrace the negative part of that I’m going to allow myself to actually be present in that moment with that advice and say that’s a fact or truth or something that’s out there let me hear it and if that’s what it is then okay how can I use that to my benefit how can I use that to serve my purpose and how I use that little bit of information is to say I have a longer window to input into my son during those very precious years they’re more for me Chris Nick H. again of course you can continue to learn things he’s a twenty one year old who just a year ago started training for Ironman and completed a full Ironman I mean I I I still I’m blown away I know it’s been no it’s a may but it’s like a day I know that %HESITATION if I said Chris did a marathon I’d be like that’s awesome that’s amazing could you run a marathon seven and it hurt you know it hurts but he did do a marathon after he rode a hundred fourteen miles and he did that after he swam for two point four miles nonstop sixteen hours and forty six minutes six minutes or something of cardio Jeez from someone told by medical professionals low tone heart issues thyroid issues all these things are thrown at so knows what’s possible note that even what Chris did is just the beginning it’s just the start this isn’t the end of it now he just open the barn door and we’re about to fly out yeah and you know we what I was going to say is we were very fortunate that we had an early developmental specialist Caroline Binns Fernandez which you can listen to that episode new parents and she has a whole list of different %HESITATION tools you can use for development and stages and she has a great conversation because she’s been out there in the community and she’s seen changes and you know just great advice and she’s a positive person who definitely was fundamental for for supporting our belief system because she felt the same way yeah actually episode thirteen she acts she lists tools which are just household items or toys that you can use to work at home you know with your child it was blocks and mirrors and a mere and staff cops right singing just reading out loud and having your child follow along is a great tool to have because as a parent you even if you feel like man I’m get a lot of services you could have a service a day which we did yep and people have multiple services okay if you have two services a day that’s two hours in the day and you’ve got all these other hours redoing okay so you can keep this going right so you can take one thing about her conversation that I did enjoy too was when she talked about just enjoying where you are right try to stay present and celebrate everything that’s right in front of you one benefit that I found an experience with Liam’s milestone was actually enjoying them because you work for you work for a long time the the the number one rule is don’t compare but just be present and enjoy where you are and that was one thing I think Caroline taught us and that she reiterates in her interview is to just see it and I feel it celebrate yes little step because with Sophia it was a milestone milestone milestone and we kind of just took it in stride and it and I don’t know if there was as much celebration there as %HESITATION look she’s walking oh look she’s talking Hey she ate some soup today and I’d get videos and you want to be there for that moment but I don’t know it was like one milestone on to the next one milestone on to the next and with Liam I think there was a real embrace scene of that journey and being able to witness it broken down and what each of us did to learn to walk because you get to see you know where is the fear was that she’s up she’s squares it crawling kneeling standing and walking right but with Liam you got to see everything it took to get to each milestone that’s one note to tell all parents is that for us and this may be that this could be true for for up vast majority of of people that have children with down syndrome for us Liam’s life and milestones have slowed down it slows down it’s since it’s almost like a slow motion sometimes you really get to see it happen all right so it’s all going to happen you just have to know what’s going on it could happen later but it’s going to happen always know what’s going to happen never stop stop short of that goal line because it’s going to happen all these milestones you can use that to your advantage of that slow motion time really being able to get deep into things and enjoy each moment through it N. it’s been a blessing we’ve been able to truly enjoy something that you look back at is hyper speed you look back at a child’s development and it just where the where the years ago that mean what parent doesn’t say that right so use that to your advantage and use it to know that you have those moments to input it may not fly by as fast and you can use that to your advantage well I think also it’s just let it wash over you let it be present and enjoy it because I feel like we’re so concerned will our child will our child will our child that we’re pushing to this goal line right well now we know yes our child will yes our child can and will so you know that now so look at this gift that you don’t you do not get it with a typical child you don’t because they are just boom boom boom boom boom it’s fast and relentless but you do get to actually participate and witness set and you can celebrate it instead of fearing that something isn’t coming celebrate what has come and is there right before you because it’s a gift and that was one benefit that I experience with Liam was really enjoying them and seen them with Sophia it seems like some of them got lost even even the ones where she fell behind on because you know different children have different challenges but with Liam it was like the slow breath of inhaling and exhaling and just working through repetition and then just one day without prompting all of a sudden he would be there and we would celebrate and we would celebrate with him and we would celebrate him and then of course we would you know if we can work it on the next thing but we would be there and celebrate and I’m going to just say it last night Liam’s ten we have been working diligently on speech because speech with lamb does dictate what people think that his ability S. so Liam has cognitive and receptive but his expressive is delayed so we were working working working and then last night at dinner we have this box of dad jokes that I think that was a gift for you that I bought you know it’s a box of dad jokes and it’s like a hundred cards and the millions ten by the way yeah but parents will appreciate this when you’re in a speech that how changing things up can just really open your mind right so you know but but this is my also example of we were working on it and we’ve seen witnessing being able to first go from sign language to you know just a broken language to combination set the at all the steps along the way we’ve enjoyed and were seen just such a great progress and him but last night as a family we sat down and we put out this box of dad jokes and lamb lamb wanted to tell jokes right yeah he wanna tell some jokes so we pulled out a card and we took turns around the table telling down to dad jokes everybody goes in front and the back of the card really funny and to see Liam read I understand it and then get to turn the card so he can read the punch line and to read it and to see that connection of understand the joke understanding how to tell a joke and how to tell the joke yeah this this was a moment of some rounds yeah but it was a moment for me because he would what I loved I think most was now you in Sofia both reached in and took a pile of so you wouldn’t have to keep reaching in the box but Liam took like three at a time and he picked history and just the way I mean every thing that he’s worked for in his lifetime came down to that moment where his occupational therapy and his hand strength could go win with his penser grasp and take out a card and then he would manipulate it so it was upright and he put the ones he’d separate the ones that he’s gonna save for later and he actually I watched him look through and decide which jokey with health first and then he would take that card and he’d look at it and he’d get himself ready I watched him read it to himself before so he’d be ready and he tell him make sure it dad it’s your turn momager turned their interns sometimes there’s a word he didn’t know he would he would try to say it and he just at first he was offended because of fear was trying to help him over his shoulder he be like I got it because he wanted to show that and then he got to the point where that ego went away and he would he would ask Sophia for help to redress for that work right it was amazing it was everything he’s worked towards and then just physical social visit language language comprehension caption these Iranian and in that moment it was there and you know Wednesday I don’t I can’t tell you the first time to fail and how to tell a joke Hey but I can tell you the moment that I just watched it and I witnessed it and that is one of the gaps that is one of the guests we get like Hamilton when Aaron Burr says I’m not standing still I’m Linden way yeah anyway and his ability was just yeah there was and it was beautiful and so I want to let you know you get those moments those are your moments but you have to choose you really it is a choice of being there being present because you know the the flip point of that is you know the frustration of when will they be able to do this and comparing him to another child or a Sophia when she was ten or whatever but if you do that you waste the gift of the reality that’s right in front of you yeah which reminds me also and I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before moms your baby can breast feed the %HESITATION is it we weren’t really given hope a lesson from the queue is a huge lesson because as soon as lamb was born and we started to get these negative attitudes I was like nope my son can do anything I’m going to advocate I am I am taken down all boundaries I’m not listening as I mean right from the go I was just like a lion and then I he was in nursing so I pumped up like I was coming to pump a pump for a year and I said it kind of gave up on the left because it wasn’t latching so what’s coming up on that well now go to the website of nursing and I’m and you can find exercises to strengthen their mouth and and had just like you do with the typical trial to typical baby so even though Liam was building his his strength probably from the bottle right we still had an attempted because also I didn’t have that knowledge and insight and input and experience but he building that strength right there we had a time to to make this happen again and it was and let me tell you this mom’s okay breast feeding is hard with the typical child so if you have just resigned that you don’t even you’re not even going to do that that’s great this is for moms who just like really this is something that’s important to you and you feel like man you’re able to do it frankly and you’re able to create that milk and you feel like that you’ve lost something and you really want that connection this is what I would want to tell you is that it is possible so I wanted that connection as well and I just felt you know what okay so if you can’t nurse I’m just gonna pump so he at least I can at least nourishment child and pumping is one thing pumping for a year is is a whole nother ballgame so that job that’s something that’s I think may not be available for some people to right I think that was actually a job at one time I’m not sure that actually was a job yeah but that may not be doable for some people that’s totally understandable as well but there is the possibility right so no judgment you do what’s best for you and your child and you take care of yourself because there’s a lot of stress is there there’s a lot of other responsibilities going on so you know we choose what our battles are in it but if this is something that is important to you it is possible and I’m gonna tell you what my experience was to let you know that it it is possible I went for a year and I pumped and I was all ready to give up I said I’m gonna pump for a year and then I feel good he said he %HESITATION milk for a year and then something happened he hit his head on the table he had his head on the table somehow some I don’t I know but what’s important right hit his head that’s something Martin what’s important is the crime he cried and he was looking for for comfort and you do too so I took him and I held him to comfort him and he just has wedding we literally pulled her shirt down yeah exerted nursing just it was like that that makes all my gosh it was just his instinct it was so %HESITATION I don’t have words for it but the lesson for me was that I had said I would never give up on him and I had given up on their same and lamb in that moment said I can don’t give up on me and I know sometimes I fall short but we’re not falling short we’re just being in that moment and we’re doing what we can so you’re you’re always doing your best and we have to accept that but in that moment I learned a great lesson that I do I do I I had gone I think he just got in in a row you know I just was doing doing doing I’m forgetting to be in that moment forgetting to connecting and forgot forgot that that was a goal at or that was something that was a possibility and %HESITATION I learned in that moment all things are possible right and they might not happen but the possible so just keep that hope of possibility and you will be surprised you may be surprised in different ways but things like that can only happen with the hope of possibility change happens with the hope of possibility I’m N. that moment happened maybe that was my hope of that particular possibility but Liam knowing his possibility and the situation presented himself and he was able to connect and you know as a mom I’ll be honest I judge myself and I wondered if he had wanted that moment or if I had just gotten so caught up in something and just for god to connect and be with him and if I had failed him in some way and I had that feeling and those feelings don’t do anything they don’t help you you don’t control your feelings but you control your response to them and my answer to that feeling was that was my feeling so I’m gonna move forward now with the knowledge so moms dad’s don’t don’t beat yourself up your doing your best and just you you love your child right and that’s really the most important thing take me time and does that cause for you to take time for yourself find people to talk to you don’t have to be this rock I think it’s about you know Steven and I have gone through this as a team and this is you know as a team you need and you need to be able to have those conversations and you know talk about the challenges are or how you feel or that and and really talk does through because we’re talking about our kids were talking about our family we’re talking about our bubble and that digs deep it’s it’s unlike anything else and the most important thing that I think we’ve found as a tool is that we truly share the journey and we are a team and that’s needed and I respect and honor the fact that Stephens feeling the same thing I am he’s going through the same experience as I am I mean his feelings are gonna be different than what my feelings are he’s gonna respond differently based upon every place that he’s ever come from and the thoughts that he’s had but it’s important for it to be a team and for dads for as much for everything that I’ve said to the moms out there dad’s that’s to you to you know take care of yourself express yourself communicate you know what your needs are your thoughts and your feelings and be gentle and don’t judge yourself you’re creating your bubble and that bubble is people who support you and positive yeah and you know and that also goes to the pediatrician find a pediatrician yeah that thinks like you yes it has to like you a possibility and and if it doesn’t feel right then just change your doctor because there are doctors who feel differently because they’re always a great go to jail and there’s so many times that you can go to that person and and talking and get advice and also get just straightforward clinical answers right and you know the great thing is up for our pediatrician I know Liam had to get tubes in his ears and any kind of surgery is so scary but she did I mean it was %HESITATION I don’t see a logical but it was clinical this is but this this is what it is and she was able to connect with me and support me and understand the emotions that I was going through because it was when lamb was fairly young and so there’s more emotion there then you know if it’s ten or twelve it’s not a scary because you have some time underneath your belt so it’s really important that your bubble supports you and your pediatrician supports you and with that bubble in place with that family it’s so much easier to face the world and people who maybe don’t think like you or don’t support what you think and feel because you have that foundation and that that home to come back to yeah we she told us of out the tubes and then said well this is something that typical kids have this is something that’s a common thing in children Liam does not wear glasses but we have a ophthalmologist that mystery for with us and says this is where he is now Steven you wear glasses and contacts I don’t have very good a vision and so Liam could need glasses later on but it’s so good to feel so good so be it but it would be probably because of my jeans passed to them it’s not something that has to do with Liam specifically and has down syndrome and it just to think about that these are all common things that will go through and sometimes you may feel like there’s more on your plate and sometimes there may be more on your plate you have the power to ask questions always ask always ask a good friend of mine told me that one time always ask and so if you’re sitting there and someone’s throwing this information out at you and you don’t understand even a term or why they’re saying something a certain way you have the power to asking I’m telling you if you have a doctor that says something and then you ask and they don’t want to answer your question that’s the first target frustrated about yeah that’s a sign that maybe you need somebody else right we have that power that’s alright that’s our choice to create that bubble of rain like minds and that’s going to go far so new parents this one’s for you and the IDPs in the schools and all that stuff that’s going to come later and we talk about that and different episodes and we’ll talk about it again but just for now enjoy every moment if I knew then I would have enjoyed it more instead of always striving there’s a difference between pushing and and supporting I was striving I was striving to get to this this place of I guess proving because that’s whatever his I felt like I had to prove something I had to prove and instead of that I would have enjoyed it more and I wouldn’t have paid mind to the small minds of prejudice that really have only the amount of impact that we allow them to have so let the heck out of the kid you have loved the heck out of that kid because your child can %HESITATION your child can can ride a bike graduate from school go to college drive a car get married run an Ironman yes the family be the president live on their own have a job be productive give back to you things you’ve been you never thought someone could get back to you anything that you’re asking if your child can do the answer is yes if you believe it allows them to believe in themselves to believe what they can do it is a magical journey every child having a child and just being in service to them and and nurturing that life is a gift to be celebrated.

So congratulations.

Please follow us on Twitter @ifweknewthenPOD you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. You can join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN. 

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